Holy Shit.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
from rocks to skyscrapers
So back in the day when Command and Conquer Red Alert was the big cheese, I would play that game for hours on end trying to get my dogs to protect Tanya, who just happens to die every opportunity she gets. Pretty soon, the same boring computer repetitions get pretty boring, and I thought I'd test out my Tanya scouting online. Well, back in the old days, this was much more difficult that I imagined.
On one rainy day, I plopped down at Books-a-Million and found an index of internet gaming websites. Two big services that I remember are Kali and Heat. Kali showed promise, and was advertised as one of the world's largest matchmaking systems. After about 20 minutes of careful research, which at the time felt like an eternity, I forked over $20 of allowance money and joined the clan. I have no recollection of what happened next, but I know that after a few days of fudging around the program, I gave up. I never did play a single multiplayer game through Kali. I was disappointed to say the last, and really wanted that 5 weeks worth of allowance money. That's a years worth of National Geographic at my Library bookstore!
Well, a couple months later, I started getting into the RPGs and FPS types. Baldur's Gate was my poison and Unreal Tournament my elixir. Having bookmarked Heat.net many months ago after that fateful night at Books-a-Million, I was ecstatic to have discovered they supported both games. Well, Heat.net is actually less ingrained into my memory than Kali. Honestly, I have no recollection of the software, the matchmaking system, or playing any games. Although I do remember getting entirely frustrated at the whole shebang and ripping off the fake maple wood coating on my desk.
Flash forward to 2008, Xbox Live is roaring through the consoles and Sony is starting up their own suite. But what about the lowly PC, the haven of video games? I get tired of matchmaking and communicating through built in programs. Furthermore, although glory and pride are of utmost importance, give me some cold hard cash for pillaging an opponent's village with 100 archers in Age of Empires Conquerors. When I take that fool down in World of Warcraft and belittle him to tears, mail me a new, larger monitor so I can do the same thing to another unsuspecting kid in California.
To put it bluntly, give me competitive matchmaking, competitive tournaments, an efficient communications system, and most importantly, prizes to show for all my efforts. Hell, I'm paying $20 / month to play some games, and glory is certainly not worth that. Subsidize me with new clothes to change into. I don't even care if they're sponsored by Fake Steve Jobs. Just give me some threads, man. Well, it seems like a small company is finally getting it right: GotGame. They're in beta right now, but it promises to be the next big thing in multiplayer gaming. Not only does it offer full fledged matchmaking, tournaments, buddy list communication, but also PRIZES. It will support a vast array of games from sports to RPGs to FPS, spanning the PC and eventually consoles. And all this fiesta in one seamless interface, customizable for each game, but all centrally connected. It's to be public soon so keep your eyes peeled, and get ready for me to dominate you in FIFA.
Hallelujah.
On one rainy day, I plopped down at Books-a-Million and found an index of internet gaming websites. Two big services that I remember are Kali and Heat. Kali showed promise, and was advertised as one of the world's largest matchmaking systems. After about 20 minutes of careful research, which at the time felt like an eternity, I forked over $20 of allowance money and joined the clan. I have no recollection of what happened next, but I know that after a few days of fudging around the program, I gave up. I never did play a single multiplayer game through Kali. I was disappointed to say the last, and really wanted that 5 weeks worth of allowance money. That's a years worth of National Geographic at my Library bookstore!
Well, a couple months later, I started getting into the RPGs and FPS types. Baldur's Gate was my poison and Unreal Tournament my elixir. Having bookmarked Heat.net many months ago after that fateful night at Books-a-Million, I was ecstatic to have discovered they supported both games. Well, Heat.net is actually less ingrained into my memory than Kali. Honestly, I have no recollection of the software, the matchmaking system, or playing any games. Although I do remember getting entirely frustrated at the whole shebang and ripping off the fake maple wood coating on my desk.
Flash forward to 2008, Xbox Live is roaring through the consoles and Sony is starting up their own suite. But what about the lowly PC, the haven of video games? I get tired of matchmaking and communicating through built in programs. Furthermore, although glory and pride are of utmost importance, give me some cold hard cash for pillaging an opponent's village with 100 archers in Age of Empires Conquerors. When I take that fool down in World of Warcraft and belittle him to tears, mail me a new, larger monitor so I can do the same thing to another unsuspecting kid in California.
To put it bluntly, give me competitive matchmaking, competitive tournaments, an efficient communications system, and most importantly, prizes to show for all my efforts. Hell, I'm paying $20 / month to play some games, and glory is certainly not worth that. Subsidize me with new clothes to change into. I don't even care if they're sponsored by Fake Steve Jobs. Just give me some threads, man. Well, it seems like a small company is finally getting it right: GotGame. They're in beta right now, but it promises to be the next big thing in multiplayer gaming. Not only does it offer full fledged matchmaking, tournaments, buddy list communication, but also PRIZES. It will support a vast array of games from sports to RPGs to FPS, spanning the PC and eventually consoles. And all this fiesta in one seamless interface, customizable for each game, but all centrally connected. It's to be public soon so keep your eyes peeled, and get ready for me to dominate you in FIFA.
Hallelujah.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Pee with my Wii
I'm all for creativity and innovation in the video game marketplace, but this is pretty ridiculous. Super Pii Pii Brothers allows people to simulate peeing through some pretty fucked up mini games. And is that a fucking cat that you're trying to hit with pee? I can see this becoming some messed up Japanese porno when all's said and done.Do people really buy games like this? Honestly, how do companies come up with necessary funding to design, code, test, and market stuff like this? And what type of brainstorming sessions are they going through for employees to think of fake piss.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Brawl, Melee, Brawl...
I've been able to play Brawl for a solid x hours over spring break. I was damn excited about this game and have been hoping desperately that someone around me would buy it already, as I don't have a wii in my dorm. At first the game was annoying, feeling like a slow motion, spruced up version of Melee. Everything moved like molasses and I wanted to just have Marth stab himself because his sword was less than 3 inches long. I found myself reverting to Melee during that first hour or so with the game. I admit, I really don't have much skill with either game. I just enjoy the mindless button mashing and the trash talking when I think I did something cool. All this talk about advanced maneuvers such as wave dashing, etc really makes no sense to me.
But anyways, eventually Brawl started becoming fun. Though it was slower, the additional characters, and the emphatic sound effects after each punch was decently amusing. Furthermore, wall jumps are infinitely easier and I found myself spending critical minutes of each match just trying to wall jump around my opponent. Later at night, when everyone else left, I tried my hand at the online play. Man, Nintendo needs to man up because their WiiConnect service is shite. Seriously, if it takes 5 minutes to attempt to find another player before disconnecting every single time, something is wrong. After a couple useless tries, I shut the thing off and popped open Halo 3 for some Live action. More mindless shooting and button mashing, but this time, without the wait and disconnects.
But anyways, eventually Brawl started becoming fun. Though it was slower, the additional characters, and the emphatic sound effects after each punch was decently amusing. Furthermore, wall jumps are infinitely easier and I found myself spending critical minutes of each match just trying to wall jump around my opponent. Later at night, when everyone else left, I tried my hand at the online play. Man, Nintendo needs to man up because their WiiConnect service is shite. Seriously, if it takes 5 minutes to attempt to find another player before disconnecting every single time, something is wrong. After a couple useless tries, I shut the thing off and popped open Halo 3 for some Live action. More mindless shooting and button mashing, but this time, without the wait and disconnects.
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